Affair Recovery

Affair RecoveryThoughts On Infidelity

There are few things more devastating to a committed union than the betrayal of an affair. The whole system of the relationship is compromised and everyone in the family is affected. Yet there is a progressive trend that questions if this is necessarily the death march towards divorce that it once was. For some there is no coming back; an affair is a deal breaker and recovery is not an option. For others they may have thought that wholeheartedly to be the case, until it happened to THEM. What I have heard in my office the vast majority of the time–from both betrayed and betrayer–is “I never in a million years thought this would happen to me”.


 

What Does Recovery Look like?

In Affair Recovery the process is an exploration in suspending the black or white of “do we stay together or break up” to what does this mean to our relationship? What have we been choosing Not to Know about the state of our union and where did we loose the impenetrable bond between us? If anger, shock, depression, humiliation, are all given their due time and voice in a productive and therapeutic way, what might be possible for our relationship on the other side? Even if we decide to move towards the end result of divorce, what can this affair offer in ways of a growth opportunity, exposing a shadow side of a blind spot in ME, so as to not take into my next relationship?